Team Rocket: In the Flesh...Literally
by Hysteria82
Summary: James walks around naked, Jessie reads playgirl and Meowth conveniently shows up when I want him to say something


Jessie, the well know female member of team rocket, snuggled deeper into the mass of blankets on the cheap motel bed as she silently 'read' the latest edition of Playgirl. She was so into her 'reading' that she didn't even notice James entering the room.  
  
"Hey Jess...I got an idea..."James told his partner .  
  
Jessie grumbled and adverted her eyes from Mr. Handyman's 12 inch tool so she could look James in the eyes while she called him stupid. But when she opened her mouth to insult him all that came out was a surprise gasp.  
  
After the initial shock of seeing her partner completely naked wore of, Jessie spoke up. "umm...James...I think you...um...forgot something..." she stuttered.  
  
James cocked (pun intended) an eyebrow in confusion. "No...I don't think I did..." he said.  
  
"Well, in case you haven't noticed....you're naked."  
  
"I know. That's my idea." he grinned. "You see, so many of are uniforms get ruined when we blast off, that I figured if we don't wear clothing they won't get ruin."  
  
"You sure dis ain't a plan you cooked up to try and see Jessie naked, James?" Asked Meowth, who conveniently shows up when I want him to say something.  
  
After hitting Meowth with her rolled up magazine, she turned her gaze back at the blue haired rocket.  
  
"James....you can't go outside naked." she informed him.  
  
"Why not?" he whined.  
  
"Because I said so." she said.  
  
"But Meowth does it all de time." Added the cat type pokemon as he nursed the bump on his head.  
  
"Yeah!" James agreed. "Meowth does it all the time! Why can't I?"   
  
"Whatever." Jessie groan in frustration and hid her head under the pillow. If she was lucky someone might come along and smother her.  
  
***  
  
"Prepare for trouble!"  
  
"Make it double!"  
  
"Oh no, it's Team Rocket!" whined the trio of twerps.  
  
"In the flesh!" James shouted and stepped out from the bushes he was hiding in and posed.  
  
"Literally..." Jessie muttered and jumped out of the bushes on the opposite side of the road.  
  
Ash, Misty, Tracey, and Pikachu gasped.  
  
"He's naked!" Ash shrieked.  
  
"Meowth! That's right!" said the cat, conveniently showing up in time to fulfill another bad joke.  
  
After an awkward moment, James turned towards Ash and company and prepared to demand that the brat hand over the rat, but was interrupted by Meowth.  
  
"Hey! Watch it with dat thing! You Almost poked Meowth's eye out!" complained the cat.  
  
"Oh, sorry." he apologized and lifted the ice gun he had a little higher so he wouldn't hit Meowth by mistake.  
  
"Anyone care to tell us what's going on?" asked Misty.  
  
Jessie sighed and hid her face behind her hand. "James decided to join a nudist colony...or something like that..."  
  
"Really?!" Misty's eyes lit up. "You....wouldn't happen to be joining one too...would you?" she asked hopefully.  
  
"OF COURSE NOT!" Jessie screamed, crushing Misty's fantasy right before she brought out he mallet and crushed Misty's face in with it, sending the girl flying backwards towards the Pokemon watcher, Tracey.  
  
After the stars left Misty's eyes, she noticed that Tracey was busy drawing something.  
  
"What on earth could you being drawing at a time like this?" she asked. "Or don't I wanna know?" she added as an after thought.  
  
Tracey blushed.  
  
"Well...you see....this...caterpie just wonder by...yeah, that's it...and I thought it would be a good time to make some sketches..." he explained.  
  
Jessie and Misty rolled their eyes.   
  
James crossed his arms and pouted. "I'd say it's an Onix, if nothing else."  
  
"no...I really did draw a caterpie." Tracey said and held up a drawing of a caterpie that just happened to be sitting by the side of the road.  
  
Ash, finally accepting the fact that he would be traumatized for life, finally decided that something had to be done before his mother would have to pay for even more therapy for him.  
  
"Pikachu! Use thunderbolt!" he yelled.  
  
Not wanting to risk traumatizing herself, she decided thunderbolting anyone within a mile radius would be better than uncovering her eyes to take aim.  
  
"PIIIIIKAAAACHU!" she squeaked and filled the area with electricity, sending Team Rocket blasting off and causing her friends to collapse to the floor in pain.  
  
"Pikachu!" she then chirped happily before curling up in a little ball to take nap.  
  
***  
  
James grinned smugly at Jessie torn and dirty uniform while they flew through the air.  
  
"Bet you regret not listening to my idea now, don't you Jess?"   
  
"Not really since it looks like we're going to land in that field of roses."  
  
James looked down and the smile fades from his lips.  
  
"shit."  
  
***   
Jessie once again sat on the cheap motel bed admiring Mr. Handyman's tool. She looked up when she heard the shower turn off and waited for James to come out.  
  
"How ya doing, James?" she asked as soon of he stepped out.  
  
"Bad...I got cuts places there should never be cuts..." he whined and carefully sat down on the bed.  
  
"Well, I hope you learned your lesson about getting bright ideas like that." she said.  
  
"Yes...I have...I shall never think again."  
  
"Good." she said and looked back down at her magazine. "Hey James, can we stop at the hardware store later? I'm sure if I had a wrench like that I'd be able to fix that leaky pipe in the bathroom at home in no time..."  
  
the end  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  



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